Tuesday 23 July 2013

Getting excited, more wasted dosh and holiday offers



23 July 2013

Hello gang; I was starting to get really excited earlier today.  Last night we recorded a telly prog called Don't Blame it on Facebook.  We watched it today and encouraged by it Jan did a Google search on Ron G. Clark, my writers name.  She came up with a long list but there were three hits on the first page that related to me.  Even in the Images section there was a shot of me.  That was when I started to get excited; I was thinking, "I'm on Google, I've made it! Now I know I am a writer!"  However, when I tried it I only found entry for me on the second page.  Ah well, fun while it lasted.

The News has a front page story about the so-called revamp of the town centre.  OK, fine ... except it won't actually be in the town centre but off to the east of it, indeed, some of it will be over the ring road.  I've mention a few of the daft ideas the local muppets have come up with.  This one will mean that the library will be closed and replaced; new retail units even though there are around 20 empty units in the town centre as it is; a new hotel and finally some new office accommodation.   

But it doesn't stop there does it?  There are ongoing discussions about the other side of the town where we will lose the Co-op car park, finally say goodbye to the Kingshome pub ... 

which has looked this bad for far too long.  It could also see the loss of this one too ... 

known once as the Ritz.  I used to go to the ABC Minors there every Saturday morning (yes I know, showing my age again).  That one though is a tricky one really because on the same block of land is St John's Methodist Church and a pub, currently being revamped.  Again, the Rowan Ringway runs straight through the middle of the proposed development.  I've no idea what these muppets are thinking of to be sure; but one thing is for sure - we Dorktowners are facing many months of traffic congestion and disruption!  As well as having a very large bill added to the council tax!    

The News isn't allows full of such silly session stories though.  There's an ad in there today with a lot 'two for one' entrance fee deals to various attractions; several have caught my eye.  First and foremost is The National Brewery Centre in Burton upon Trent.  Another is Snibston Discovery Museum.  Dudley Zoo is listed and finally there is the Bosworth Battlefield Heritage Centre.  All of them are good photo opportunities and I think we will be using a few of them.     

Yesterday was telly day for us.  We got caught up on all the medical progs we've recorded, followed by a number of other documentaries.  The last one we watched was Botched Up Bodies on Channel 5.  It haven't seen it I would urge you to do so.  One guy on there had a gastric bypass operation some time ago and it worked very well.  So much so that he ended up with a huge great lump of flesh hanging down between his legs.  It was horrendous.  Just think of having a wee with a 2 stone lump of your belly getting in the way?  The NHS gave him the operation but refused to consider a plastics job for two years after his weight loss and even then they wouldn't guarantee it.  Just what the heck are they of?  Why do they do one part of the job but won't do the follow up?  There is no sense to it is there?

And so to a happier photo ... 

This little lane is called Atherton Lane.  It caught my attention because we lived in Atherton, G Manchester some time ago.

And for a funny ...

Life was tough in the Yukon during the Klondike gold rush. The old-timer prospector was making his three-monthly visit to town on his faithful donkey and having tied it up outside the saloon ordered a double whisky. As the barman poured the whisky the prospector quietly asked;  “Any women in this town?”
“Nope !” came the reply “never has been, probably never will be, but – if you’re really desperate, there’s always Old Bill in the back room”
“Christ, I’m not like that !” cried the old timer, downing his whisky in one “I’m not like that at all !” and quickly left the bar to ride back to his mine for another three months with his donkey.
Three months later, he was back in town on his donkey and having tied it up outside the saloon ordered his usual double whisky. As the barman poured the whisky the prospector quietly asked
“Any women in this town yet?”
“Nope !” came the reply “told you before, never has been, probably never will be, but – if you’re really desperate, there’s always Old Bill in the back room”
“Christ, I’m not like that !” cried the old timer, downing his whisky in one “I’m not like that at all !” and quietly left the bar to ride back to his mine for another three months with his donkey.
Three months later, and he was back in town again on his donkey and having tied it up outside the saloon ordered his usual double whisky. As the barman poured the whisky the old-timer again asked;
“Any women in this town?”
“Nope !” came the reply, “told you before, never has been, probably never will be, but – if you’re really desperate, there’s always Old Bill in the back room”
“Christ, I’m not like that !” cried the old timer, downing his whisky in one “I’m not like that at all !” and slowly left the bar to ride back to his mine for another three months with his donkey.
Untying his donkey he began thinking of the lonely three months ahead and slowly re-tied his donkey to the hitching rail and returned to the bar to order another double whisky. As the barman poured the whisky the prospector quietly asked;
“I’m not like that, I’m not like that at all, but this arrangement with Old Bill in the back room, how many people would need to know?"
“Seven!" came the reply from the barman
“Christ !” said the old timer “I’m not like that, I’m not like that at all, but I’m kinda desperate. Why so many ?”
“Well” said the barman “there’d be you, me and Old Bill to start with, making three. Then there’d be the four blokes we need to hold Old Bill down, ‘cos he’s not like that neither !”       

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