Slightly better ... but not brilliant

30 January 2012

Saturday morning I could feel I had what I thought was a head cold coming on.  By Saturday evening I knew I was in for a rough time.  Yesterday I was feeling so bad I could hardly move let alone sit and type on me blog.  Today isn't quite so bad but I'm still not anywhere near right.  I'm due to the GP today anyway but I don't know what he will say when he sees me as I am right now. 

So then, the News ...  I got excited looking at the front page this morning.  Feeling poorly or not the chance of a night heron near abouts would have taken precedence.  Sadly though, it's an escapee from Twycross Zoo out on the A444 so I won't be rushing out; escapees are not allowed on the British List.  On a similar vein, I was planning in taking part on the RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch this year.  As it worked out I could hardly see across the room, let alone the length on the back garden!  Did any of you good folks take part?  Apparently half a million people do making the largest birdwatching event in the world and giving a lot of information about how Britain's bird life is doing.  And it's not just what birds you see that counts.  Those that are not seen are just as important and can be deduced from the lists sent in.  All good stuff for 'puters to number crunch with.

No matter what the future of the Hussy Hospital is, currently complaints there are on the increase.  Management are blaming a report that showed the Hussy was bottom of the list with the highest death rate in the England.  I would hazard a guess though that not many of the complainants know about that report, I certainly didn't before today.  My major quibble with them is about wasted time and effort.  A few years ago I had to have two day procedures done.  They are normally done on the Day Care ward.  So having seen the general surgeon I was told that I had to go and speak to someone about making an appointments for each one.  OK, fine. 

But before I saw the surgeon I had sat with a nurse who had taken a medical history, even though she wrote it down on a fresh sheet in my records folder.  So off I went and had to go through the whole lot again.  And again when I got the next place too.  I complained and was told that things might change by the time I had got from one department to another.  My reply was simple.  "Yes it did!  Mt stress levels and blood pressure went through the roof having to repeat everything three times within an hour!"  I don't get any reply from that one.

Another time I turned up for an x-ray and was sitting in the waiting room having booked in, and sat trying to read a book I had taken with me but found it hard to do so because of the chatter and laughing from the staff standing around gossiping about an upcoming wedding.  When I was now 20 minutes late, I asked when I would be done and was told that they had to wait for a doctor to arrive.  Five minutes later I was taken through and done without a doctor.  Now I know why the NHS costs so much to run!

Remember what I said about beat bobbies in the town on Saturday?  Well, there's a piece in the News about it today.  I'm not sure about the number quoted in the piece, or perhaps it's the way they are quoted that makes it look odd.  I mean, did Warwickshire ever have 135,838 police officers?  I doubt it!  Not so long ago there was big fuss made over selfish paring in the town centre and the employment of parking wardens to be shared between Dorktown and Rugby.  Well, I haven't seen any of them in Dorktown, so where are they?  Perhaps they have gone to big car park in the sky? No one knows.

Today's photo then ... 

is of one of the colleges in Cambridge.  I spent two years in Cambridge while in the Army and loved every minute of it - what I could remember of it that wasn't cloudy by drunken stupor ;-)))

And finally, from the Sage ...

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues on the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God, please, somebody help me!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.

ATMs, phone calls and emails

28 January 2012

Saturday is here again; it's also the last one in January ... where do the weeks go?  Being Saturday I have rely on the Dorktown Telegraph (it's the Coventry Telegraph really with the name changed to make it fit in better here in Dorktown).  Front page story has a photo of a wrecked shop wall where an ATM once stood and huge great big digger that was used to pinch the ATM.  No indication as to how much they got away with though.

Jaguar Cars have always been special, to me they have anyway.  At the site of the Jaguar car plant at Brown's Lane Coventry there's a museum which houses about 120 of them.  The car plant itself is no more, demolished after TATA pulled the company out of Coventry.  Now there's a fight on to save the museum.  Some nutter wants to pull it down to build houses for Pete's sake!  Ye Gods!  What are they thinking of ... if they are thinking that is.

Police cuts are hitting hard all over the country but it is claimed that traffic cops are being hit hardest with a 4% drop in numbers.  But I tell you what, I can't remember the last time I saw a beat bobby in Dorktown during the day!   

Did you know that Acker Bilk is 83 today?  Well he is, according the Telegraph that is.  I like his music and that of Kenny Ball too.  I remember seeing the Kenny Ball Jazz Band live at an event in 1974 at Steeple Ashton airfield while my unit were on exercise there.  Very good they were too.

We've knocked off for the day now but we are slowly moving back into the front room from the back room.  I've always wanted to live out here because its more private, so we tried it and that it was indeed more private but we didn't have anywhere near as much room as we did on the front.  So we're moving back, but not rushing doing it.  Only the two telly's to swap and get my orthopaedic recliner moved back in there to go now.  We'll both be glad when we are done though.  For now I'll make do with arm chair in there.

My copy of Writer's Forum arrived during the week.  As usual its full of hints, tips and news for us writers.  But I got to thinking while reading it and what it was saying about pitching ideas for articles and short stories and ensuring you get the right title for your piece.  Well, I don't do short stories, so that's that one dealt with!  But what about articles.  I sat thinking about what magazines I actually read.  There's Amateur Photographer; Writer's Forum; Writing Magazine; Bird Watching; Total TV; and probably one or two other photo-mags that I but on a ad hock basis.  I'm not knowledgeable enough to write for any of these and as I wouldn't be looking at most other mags, I wonder just how useful that advice really is to me.  Ah well ... ... ...

But coming back to reading ... what is your reading speed?  Mine is fairly slow.  I've just timed myself reading two pages from Writer's Forum and one took 7 minutes 8 seconds, the other was 6 seconds shorter.  So here we are reading these writing mags and they keep on giving advice about reading this, reading that, doing this then read some more ... ... ...  Just when are we supposed to actually 'write'.

For today's photo I have chosen a different view of Coventry's old Cathedral ...

Nothing from the Sage today so here's another from in dad-in-law (slightly altered and added to).

Opportunity used to knock.  Now it rings up or sends an email!                     

Nuns and cops

27 January 2012

So Dorktown is set to lose yet another big name store when Mothercare closes next month.  Woollies, M&S, Starbucks and now Mothercare.  One wonders who will be next.  My money is Debenhams ... any other bets ladies and gentlemen???

Have you been watching the Coppers show on Channel 4?  If not you've missed a good one.  The usual cop shows of fast chases and smash up is perhaps what we are used to here in the UK.  The Coppers one is very different indeed.  It looks at the officers themselves and their thought on some of the muppets they have to deal with.  However, they are not totally insensitive.  In last night's show there was a guy who is a homeless alcoholic druggie.  The cops arrest him, put him in front of the magistrate and he gets sent down yet again.  he comes out and it all starts again.  It's just one big circle with him.  But has they said yesterday, they are not trained to help the man.  All they can do is arrest him and start the whole circle off again.  Another of them was trying to mediate between two war families.  It was a case of he said/she said but in reality they are both as bad as each other.  One family was willing to sit and try to talk it out with the cop as a mediator; the other family were not willing to do so.  Who is the worst between them then?  Again it's not really a cops job to do that is it? 

The rain has started.  This morning I went do into town to get rid of some books we don't need and to get some milk from Iceland.  I took a camera with me because the idea was to try to get a few street shots while I was out.  No bloomin' chance!  Far too cold for sitting around on me scooter.  The BBC has got right again (yes that's right so mark your calendar), and it's started raining just when they said it would. 

My copy of the BTO magazine arrived today and there's a photo of a black and white blackbird in there.  They were asking for other such example to be forwarded on to them.  Today's photo I got of a black and white jackdaw one day Bradgate Park one day ...

This one taken on Fujifilm 2800, a very good camera at the time.

And the Sage has come through in time again today ...

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.  SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38 ½ minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to violate us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.  A little while later...
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in 1 minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.  So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.  Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty…………………

Say two Hail Marys! 

A 'special' day?

26 January 2012

32 years ago today Jan and I got married at Dorktown Registry Office.  There were mutterings and grumbles of, "It'll never last.  They never do at these sort of dos."  It was also brought forward by a couple of months and that alone set various tongues to wag same wagging tongues about how it would last.  As it turned out there were a number of noses put out of joint and pointing fingers had to be put away when our son Tom didn't show up for 18 months. 

With that in mind then, imagine my surprise when I got up to find that Jan was not here.  She had left me a note to say she had gone to the hospital because of extreme stomach pain.  I eventually got in touch with her to find out she had put on an intravenous morphine drip to control the pain she was in.  When I got there they had let her go and she was waiting by the door for me.  There was nothing more they could do seeing as she had the total amount of pain they were allowed to give her.  Anyway, she sees the GP tomorrow at 9 o'clock to arrange a scan of her gall bladder in case she has gall stones.  Now she has gone to bed for a few hours to catch up on lost sleep - she was up at 3am she says.  Some anniversary he ;-)))

The Dorktown News has a story about the Hussy Hospital again!  This one is about a patient who managed to pick up MRSA while in there.  OK, nothing new in that is there ... except that this patient was the first such case the hospital has had 23 months!  Now that is some record and shows just how well they have infections under control. 

It will soon be pancake day folks.  In Atherstone, just up the road form Dorktown they have an annual ball game which takes place in the high street there.  Now the elf'n'safety busy-bodies have put their oar in and demand that there is insurance provided to cover it.  Of course the insurance companies have rubbed their greedy sticky little maulers and are demanding more and more dosh each year to cover it.  Add that the vast amount of rules and conditions that the council are applying to it, volunteers to help run the event are getting fewer each year.  It seems now that the 828 year annual event is getting close to ending - simply because of busybody jobs worth killjoys. Come on Ester, where that hat you used to give out?

As I sit here typing I can hear or two budgies chirping and wittering on to each other.  Sadly they are the only pets we can have now.  I have an allergy to dogs even though we have had dogs in the past and Jan has one to cats.  So I get very angry when I watch telly progs about animal cruelty.  There was on the other day called Animal Cops Huston.  There was a horse featured on there that was so badly neglected that its body condition was rated as a -1, it was so bad.  I'm not a horsy person but such poor animal care, or lack thereof, makes me really angry.  For Pete's sake America was built on the backs of horses and yet that is how some owners treat them.  There's no excuse for such lack of care.

Today's, photo then ... 

considering what I have just been saying I've posted on photo of Cindypup, the Yorky Duff.  She was Jan's birthday present but turned out to be my dog.  She just stuck with me.  In this picture she in the basket of my mobility scooter.  Sadly Cindy died suddenly one Saturday evening at only 3 years of age.

And the Sage strikes again ...

A banker parks his brand-new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.  As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.  More than a little distraught, the banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.
          Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: "My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!'
          After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
          "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Bankers are," he says. "You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."
          "How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" sobs the Porsche owner.
          The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you?"  The Banker looks down in horror.
          "BLOODY HELL!" he screams. "Where's my Rolex?"