Black and blue; sacked or pushed?

31 March 2012

It really is a dark and dismal day here in Dorktown today.  I suppose we have had our summer now and we will have to wait until next year for another one.  OK, so I’m exaggerating a good deal there but today’s light is of little use for snappers at least.  We also have Kile here with us this weekend so we have to take him into consideration if we do go out.  I don’t we will be though.

I’ve just had a thought yet again … Kile is spelt like that and not Kyle because his mum wanted it spelt as I have typed it.  So it ended up under lined here in Word and I have just added it to the dic-n-harry.  But I wonder … just how much space is there allocated within Word for adding words?  I’ve emailed Microsoft on this one but not had a reply.  Ah well, I don’t suppose it’s all that vital to know.

Did you know that on this day in 1889 The Eiffel Tower was officially opened?  Well, it was.  And 52 years earlier John Constable, he of The Haywain, died.  

I have been wondering what has been going on at the BEEB for some time now.  In Midlands Today, there have been some changes in the news reader team from Thursday and Friday evenings.  I had it in my head that Nick Own was ready to retire.  However, in today’s Telegraph it’s not Nick Owen who has gone but Suzanna Virdee.  She was leaving after yesterday’s show but was prevented from appearing so she could say “Goodbye” to the viewers.  Whatever the reasons for her to leave the show, the refusal off the BEEB to allow her to say her goodbyes is a sad exhibition of spiteful pettiness on their part.   

It seems that the greedy and grasping hand of filling stations are hard at work making extra profits from worried motorists after yet another gaff from the current Prime Muppet and his team.  This happened 12 years ago when one dealer put his prices up by a huge amount knowing that because his customers needed the fuel they would pay what he demanded.  However, because of his greed, when fuel became more widely available all his regulars went elsewhere for their fuel.  The result was the he went bankrupt.  Perhaps the same will now happen to the greedy retailers who are making short term gains at the expense of motorists.  I also think that the government should be taking action to prevent such greediness.  After all, it was their lack of understanding that has caused the queues at forecourts in the first place!

Most nights I drop off pretty quickly but last night I didn’t.  Last night I lay in bed and just thinking of all sorts’ things but of nothing really important.  Eventually I did begin thinking of a new story line.  I shall make a note of it later but this one could be a very dark story of anger and rage against one man’s battle with his family. I’ll get my current effort finished before I start this one though. 

So it’s now photo time … I’ve had this idea rattling around in me ‘ed for ages.  The idea is to take a photo on one tree from the same spot at the same time every day for a year.  Then using some software make them all into a movie so that story of the tree over a full year can be seen.  I even found me tree … 

This is a beach tree on Mount Street rec area.  My problem is with this idea is that I’m a bit lazy and can’t be bothered to commit myself for such a project.  

Today’s funny then …

Julius and Irving, two very religious men, visited Marcus Pinkus the tailor to have new black suits made.

When they went to pick up the suits, Julius looked at his suit very carefully; held it up to the light, walked over to the window and examined it more carefully and then proclaimed, "Marcus, this suit is navy blue. It's not black!"

"Trust me." said Marcus, "It's black!"

"Irving, what do you think? Blue, or black?" asked Julius.

"To tell you the truth," said Irving, "I couldn't really tell from this light if it's blue or black"

They left wearing their new suits and while walking down the street kept examining each other's suit to see if it was blue or black. Then they spotted two nuns standing on the corner and decided to go stand next to them. They knew their habits would be black and this way they could be sure.

Well, later that afternoon, the two nuns returned to the convent and visited with mother superior to discuss their day in the city. "A very strange thing occurred." reported one of the nuns. "Two Jewish men approached us on the street and they were speaking Latin!"

"Latin?" exclaimed mother superior. "Jewish men don't speak Latin; they speak Hebrew!"

"No." said the other nun. "It was definitely Latin!"

"Well, what did they say exactly," asked the mother superior.

"I'm not really sure," said one of the nuns. "They just kept repeating the same Latin phrase, "Marcus Pinkus Fuctus!"   

Grandson, The Hussy and Art

30 March 2012

It's certainly chillier than of late today.  We may have to put our heating on again later if it doesn't warm up any.  At one time it was Jan who used to feel the cold; now it's me.  At one time the cold never bothered me.  Now, I can sit shivering after even a drop in temperature of only a few degrees. 

This weekend we are due to have Kile.  Jan will pick him up from school and take him home to collect some clothes and then come back here with him.  That means he and me will have a pizza for dinner.  Jan's doesn't like them but she    used to getting something else when we have a pizza.  Once that is consumed I shall disappear to my study and my desktop to get on with some writing.  Jan and Kile will set up the Wii and be on that for hours at a time.  I can't stand playing games like that so it's a good job I have something to be getting on with.

I had an email for a guy named Alan who has done a proof read of The Mission for me - even though it is already published.  Most of what he has picked up are silly mistakes on my part.  Anyway, the reason I mention this is that Alan is a tutor with the OU.  However, in June he will be leaving it.  He objects strongly to the increase in course fees.  A normal 60 point course was priced at around £650.  Now they are priced at over £2,000.  Yes, that's right, two bloody grand!  Far too steep for me even if I did want to go on with it.  Such and increase is ridiculous and I would expect that there will be large number of students dropping out now.  I have always thought highly of OU.  But there are times when I thought that they relied very heavily on the good will of their students.  The OU has a tendency to change their term and conditions and qualification requirement and not telling their students.  There have many time when I read on the student notice boards that a requirement has changed leaving students to complete even more courses then they would have done simply because one of them had been dropped from the requirement and another substituted.  The OU says it is the students own responsibility to keep abreast of the qualification requirements.  However, I have a feeling that if a student was perhaps really pissed about it, there might be a case to be answered in Law.  So far it hasn't happened; hence my statement about students good will.  However, that might change with such a large increase in fees now being charged!  I hope so!

What of The News for today then?  The front page headline says, "Option 6 Joy At the Eliot[Hussy]".  When I first saw it I  wondered just what the heck 'Option 6' was.  Well, it's to do with keeping the maternity and paediatric services.  Thing is, it's not really certain, and we won't really know until the all the t's and i's thingy has happened.  So why there is 'joy' over it I don't know. 

Tesco's new supermarket in Bed'th has commissioned a new work of fart - err, sorry, art for their site.  It's two pieces of black marble stuck on top of each other and is supposed to be a representation of a miners hands gripping a pick axe.  While I was with the OU I was told one time that about what makes something a piece of art.  Well, it requires three conditions; the artist says it is; the work is on public display; and lastly, people are talking about it.  So this waste of black marble is now a work of art according to all three points.  I shall say no more about it.

It does remind me though of something that read years ago in a magazine I bought at Brum Museum and Art gallery.  I don't know if you can remember it but years ago there was a painting entered into the Turner Prize.  The work was a reworking of a SciFi book cover from even earlier.  Yet it caused a row but the row was not the fault of the artist!  It was the fault of the Director of the Turner Prize who dropped a few rods from the title.  The artist had given the work a title and added "after ..." here he included the name of the original artist.  By dropping that part it gave the impression that the artist was claiming it to be an original work.  That led to the row.  The idea was cause a ruckus so as to generate publicity and encourage more visitors.  To me however it smacks of being underhanded and devious!  It is this sort of behaviour that causes so many people to po-po the arts as whole.

And speaking of art here's an image that I scanned from a book called The Essential ...  This was a collection of art books with each based on the work of just one artist.  Here's the image then ... 

but who do you think painted it?  That is why I don't enter the artist's name above.  Any ideas?  No?  Well is was Picasso!  You may not know but Picasso himself went through the normal classical art school training in Spain before he moved to Paris and began a whole new movement in art.  This work called Olga causes problems for art historians.  It was painted during his cubism thing he was doing.  So why did revert to his classical training for this one portrait?  No one knows.

So now you want a funny I suppose ...

WHY MEN STAND UP TO HAVE A PEE....

God had just finished creating the Universe and he stood in the Garden of Eden chatting to Adam and Eve. "Well I'm almost done now", he said, "I've just got a couple of things left to give away in my bag of creations, - now let me see, oh yes! this first one could be handy to have for one of you, it's the ability to urinate whilst standing up!

Adam jumped up and blurted out,"Oh yes, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of think that a Man should be able to do, - OH PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE GIVE THAT TO ME!!! Just think, when I'm working with the animals or in the garden I could just stand there and let it fly, - it would be so cool, - I could pee up a tree to see how high I could get and even write my name in the sand! OH PLEASE, PLEASE, GOD GIVE THAT TO ME!!!

He went on and on..... Eve just smiled and said to God, "If Adam really wants it so badly, then let him have it". It's obviously the kind of thing that would make him so happy and so she said that she would'nt mind if Adam was to be the one with this ability.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection while in the vertical position.

And so he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark of a tree and laughing with delight all the while!

And it was good.

"Fine", said God, looking into his bag for the remaining leftover gift, "Now what's left in here? Oh yes, multiple org**ms.............    

Spainish Dreams

29 March 2012

Jan is home safely after her two days away.  She enjoyed Bournemouth, apart from the hills that is.  So that’s another place we won’t be moving to.  While she was away she met a couple who had just returned from living in Spain.  It’s an idea we had once and I’m still sort of 50-50 on the idea.  My biggest worry about it is the health care.  We are both on a lot of medication and I’d be worried about having to pay for all our medication as well as seeing GP’s and hospital visits to pay for.  The economic situation there is not so good either is it?  I still fancy it though ;-)))    

The News has a front page headline that reads, “Pensioners Are Being Fleeced”.  When I first saw it this morning I thought it was to do with social services forcing the sale of homes to pay for care home fees.  Nope – it’s to do with their families stealing from them.  In some case it is so bad that victims are left with so little they can’t afford to buy food.  I know what they mean!  I know of case where an elderly lady with was fleeced of a minimum of £12,000 – I’ve seen the paper work to prove it.  And that doesn’t cover the amount that went missing from the lady’s various pensions either!  The thief is now dead so can’t be charged with anything.  And the problem for these pensioners is that they afraid to say anything if they do know about it because happening in case there is retribution form the thief.  How low can someone get; to steal for your parents is as low as you can get in my book.

The other main story today is a follow up on the one I reported on yesterday about the area marked for development.  A member of planning committee has claimed that the Plan is not set in stone and that none of the nine areas highlighted by the News is a certainty.  The claim is that they are areas where development may take place, not will take place.  The problem as I see it is that the damage has already been done and because the plan is now public knowledge there may be a drop in house prices because of it.  

Today I think is going to be a lazy day for both of us.  We won’t be going anywhere unless we have to.  It’s a nice sunny day again but both of us feel like having a lazy day.  That suits me because I can sit and get some writing done today.  Well, after I’ve finished doing a little bit of editing that is.  Someone Jan met through Kindle has read and proof read my first book, The Mission.  He has made some nice comments about it … every encouraging too.

Today’s photo is of tram in Soller in Mallorca …

 they are very rickety and noisy but interesting to ride on.  Our trip was part of an all day excursion that we went on.  It was a good trip too, with coach, tram and train.

Today’s funny …

On the day of their 50th anniversary the reminiscing wife finds the negligee she wore on her wedding night and puts it on.  She goes to her husband and says, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looks up from his newspaper and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."

She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asks.

He's not much in the mood for this, but he sighs and responds, "Well, honey, as I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those b**bs and s***w your brains out".

She giggles and says, "Yes dear, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"

He looked her up and down, and replied, "Mission accomplished."

Electric cars, postage, house building and fat free muffins

28 March 2012

It's a bright sunny day here in Dorktown again.  I'll be off on my travels with me camera later.  I shall take me netbook with me in case I go somewhere for a pint or ten - I can get a bit more writing done then too ... any excuse eh ;-)))

A leak from the borough council is on today's front page of the News.  There's a map showing the locations of nine areas where they have indicated that house building will be permitted as part the so-called Borough Plan.  I can see trouble a't mill over it!  One area is behind the current housing on Ansley Road.  Behind them at the moment is open fields and a large lake called Seeswood Pool.  Normally such bodies of water are a magnet for birds but as one birder who watched the pool as part of his patch says, "... it can be heart-breaking ..." because of the few birds that actually use the pool.  There was an osprey once, and that had been the highlight over many years.  What it means of course is that it can't be said as an objection that the place is used by lots of birds. 

Another two areas I can see being hotbeds of objection are Weddington, already fighting against 300 new house, and the St Nicolas Park area.  Again there's loads of open country between the current housing and The A5.  Both of these area it can be said are in some of the more affluent areas of the town.  However, it is interesting to note that the one area, the most affluent area of the town that isn't earmarked for development, is the Whitestone/Lutterworth road area.  Now I wonder why that is?

I'm a bit unsure about the rise of the electric car.  For knocking about town I can see their usefulness but I'm not sure they would of any use at all for a trip to London say, or a holiday in the Highlands!  Well, our council, has installed a charging point in a car park for such cars - but - there's no charge being made  for charging your car - if you see what I mean.  So the council opposition are up in arms about that as well.  In this case I can see their point all too clearly.  What it means is that owners of Lecky cars can park in that spot and charge their cars and only pay the normal parking fees.  I wonder if I am the only one who sees some abuse of that service happening?  Why charge the car at home when you have to pay to do so when you can charge the car in town for the cost of parking for a few hours, especially if you need to go into town anyway.

Royal Fail has decided that a 1st class stamp will now cost 60p.  Good job I don't send all that many letters then!  They are supposed to losing money hand over fist.  I'm not surprised really.  Once when we lived in Bed'th, I sat and counted the number or Royal Fail vans to enter our street.  Over an hour there was four of them, from the small escort sized vans up to the larger class 3 HGV vans.  Over the day a total of seven of their vans arrived.  If they want to save money, I suggest they start with that.  It surely didn't take seven vans to deliver mail  to one street.  It certainly didn't work that way when I worked for Interlink.  I took all the items for my area ion my one van - and delivered them by lunch time too!  And as for Parcel Farce ... don't ask!!!

I managed to get 48 photos while in Coventry yesterday.  A lot of them were only so-so images so I didn't both with them when it came to editing them.  here's my take on the cathedral, 50 year anniversary this year too ... 

But I remember 25 years ago that they began and restoration fund for it.  I was quite angry over that.  "Why does a 25 year old building need restoring already?" I asked.  And I'm still not sure why - but there yer go ... that's the church for you ... ... ...

Here's another good funny from the funny farm ...

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.  And, though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last three decades.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their car crashed, sending them off to Heaven.  They reached the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging
their favourite clothes, freshly pressed, in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."  The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.  "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven.

"The old man looked out the window and saw a championship golf course, finer and more
beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.  "What are the green fees?" grumbled the old man.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day -  any starting time you wish."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages and a fountain of champagne.  "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the couple.  "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well,  where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your f******g fat-free muffins. We could have been here twenty years ago!"