20 March 2012
Oh what a night! I don’t remember much of it at all. Now before you start I thing that I was too drunk or stoned – I wasn’t. I was so tired that I don’t remember actually settling. I vaguely remember putting my magazine down but that is about it. This has been happening fairly frequently just lately. I get progressively tired over several days, even though I’m sleeping very well, it all comes together on one night when I’m out of it from early on. Ah well … … …
Around four years ago a young lad was found dead in the River Anker here in Dorktown. Every year since then the family leaves a floral tribute to him in the park. They did the same last weekend but within 24 hours the flowers had been stolen. Of course it was Mother’s Day on Sunday so it looks like the flowers were stolen to be given to the thieves mum. I hope she reads the News today and realize where her flowers have come from. The next move is to let the cops now so the moron can be brought to justice for it.
Little Paige is back home in Dorktown after her operation. There are photos of here undergoing physio at the hospital where she had her operation done. She looked really happy at the time and determined to get on and start walking. Well done Paige, keep at it gel, you’ll get there.
Christmas Day last year a drunk driver managed to overturn his car. He’s appeared in court claiming he would lose his if he was banned from driving. When asked how it happened he said that he didn’t know, but no-one else was involved. “Tough luck,” is what I say. He should have thought about that when he started driving his car when drunk. Well, he got a 16 month ban, fined £250, ordered to pay £15 victim surcharge and £50 in costs.
Now this next point is vital to us all. Are you ready for it … don’t forget that it is this coming Saturday night we have to put our clocks forward one hour. Now don’t forget will you … you all know perfectly well that we really do need an hour less sleep this weekend otherwise the world will stop spinning, all the lights will go out, and we will all float off into space in a dream of peace and happiness. You can probably see that I’m not a big fan of changing the clocks twice a year. I don’t really care if they stay as they are or if once changed this coming Saturday they will remain at that setting. Just leave the damn systems alone.
Today’s photo is of Cindypup, the Yorkie-duff …
She was Jan’s birthday present but like all dogs they chose their own ‘owner’ and Cindy choose me. She died a couple of years ago aged 3 years. We still miss her too.
I suppose you want a funny now …
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"
"I see your eyes are working" replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working" says the duck, “now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call."
So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says, "Hey Mr Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!"
“Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus" says the landlord.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right" replies the landlord.
"The circus?That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
"That's right!" says the landlord.The duck looks confused.
"What the hell do they want with a plasterer?"
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