Another week begins ...

19 March 2012

You do realize that it’s only 9 months to Christmas don’t you?  Just thought I’d remind you ;-)))

No blog from me yesterday because I was feeling even more lazy than normal.  On Saturday I went upstairs to use my desktop ‘puter to get some work done on my latest book.  Well, I keep a copy of it the hard drive up there but I usually work from the copy I have on a USB drive thingy I have – one of many the things too.  Anyway, I did actually open my netbook to write yesterday’s blog but then I thought that I’d left the USB thingy upstairs and really couldn’t be bothered to go any get it.  So this morning when I got up I went through to be back bed room to make sure I had it here … but it wasn’t there!  I have since found it sitting here beside my chair in the living room.  Yet another deeerrrrr moment ;-)))

You may be wondering why I used my desk top to do my writing on Saturday.  Well, when I use my lappy or my netbook the cursors keep jumping all over the place.  It jumps up and down in no set pattern that I can see.  It means that I either have to cut and paste what I have typed or delete it and re-type it.  Usually I see it before I type a lot of words so I delete and do it again in the right place.  The thing is, it gets rather tedious having to do that on a regular basis.  But it doesn’t happen on my desk top.  The result is that I managed to get 4800 words done on Saturday which is a lot better than normal.

Now, you may be wondering why I have a desk top, a lappy and a net book.  Well, apart from being a bit of geek, they all have their uses, genuine uses.  The desk top is around three years old now is sat up in what I loosely call ‘my study’.  With its 19” monitor I use it form when I do a lot of on-line searching and photo editing.  The lappy sits out in the dining room and I do the bulk of my writing on there.  It’s also where Jan comes and sits and works on her lappy when I’m in there.  Originally the net book was for when I go for the day, or when I go for a ride around Dorktown.  I normally call in for a pint or ten – well, used to – and I could sit in the pub and type away at the book or whatever else I fancied doing while enjoying beer.  See, we can all make excuse can’t we ;-)))

So what of Dorktown today?  It’s bright and sunny right now with just a few clouds about.  But we can’t do anything with it cos Jan has a hospital appointment at the Walsgrave this afternoon so it’s pointless making any plans to do anything else.  This whole week is pretty much taken up with pre-planned stuff of appointments that can’t be changed.

The News is full of nothing in particular today.  A local company has won a contract to supply medals to the Diamond Jubilee.  There are numerous small bits about yobs stealing metal from houses within the town.  They’ve revamped the letters page and included a reader’s photo of Camp Hill Road where there used to be a speed camera.  The person concern is upset because the camera has been removed.  There are the usual 3 or 4 pages of sport … yawn … and loads of ads as well.  And that is pretty much it today. 

We did sit and watch The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest the other night.  It’s a very nasty series of films, dark and vicious in places but also very good.  We enjoyed them anyway.  Now I shall try to get the books.  I know it’s the wrong way round to do it but when needs must … … …

For today’s photo we shall go to Blackpool … 

which is lucky enough to have three piers.  On the Central pier is a Ferris wheel … and there it be.  

Today’s funny then … I wasn’t going to use this one because it’s a bit dated … but the punch line is great!

A Shepherd's Story

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and D+G tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location. He then feeds it to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. He then opens the digital photo with Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an e-mail to his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

"That's right," says the shepherd. "Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep."

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW.  Then the shepherd says to him, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant.," says the shepherd.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?

"No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know jack about my business."

"Now give me back my dog."