Today's Monday

2 April 2012

Just about every newspaper you may read these there’s at least one story about cuts to services.  Front page of the Dorktown News reports that Warwickshire has to make do with 36 less fire fighters and 4 less fire engines.  Yet the council is claiming that safety has not been compromised by it.  They also claimed that the reorganisation was about improving the service, not cost cutting.  So can we assume then that the same amount of dosh is being spent on fire services now that there are less personnel and equipment to hand?  Don’t be silly, of course they aren’t.  Of course it was about cuts, just not called a cost cutting exercise!

The other story about cuts in today’s News is about the closure of the library at Bedworth Heath.  A Labour Lord is supposedly shocked by the closure seeing as it is in the town largest housing estate.  As Labour’s chief whip in the House of Lords, I’m sure he has come across other such instances where these sorts of events are happening.  In the photo of the visit the said lord has a huge grin on his face while the two who were there with him were trying hard to look glum.  I bet neither of them ever used the place when it was open.

Another cut is also announced, but this time it will be one that is welcomed.  The Hussy Hospital is aiming to cut waiting times at A&E to just four hours.  It should already be at that level now anyway, at least I think so.  The last time I was there I lay on a bed while I had a lot of ECG’s done and watched as three doctors sat at a work station doing something on computers.  Why weren’t they seeing patients?  Whatever the waiting time that day it could have been reduced a good deal if that lot got up and did something instead of sitting around chatting!

Dreams, don’t you just love them!  Last night, well, this morning really, I had yet another strange one.  There I was with my brother – he died over three years ago – three GPs, all retired now – and their wives.  We were all in one car one car and driving around part of Dorktown that wasn’t really Dorktown, looking for a drainage company so I could see if I could get a job with them.  As we parked up and as I got out of the car I saw a man carrying a huge great sting ray from one shop to another.  In the first shop there were live sharks hanging by their tails.  Then Jan woke me.  Now, don’t ask me what it all means cos I don’t have a clue – but any ideas welcomed ;-)))

For today’s photo then I thought a fish picture, but I don’t have any.  So you will have to make do with a bloomslang … 

a snake I snapped at a zoo somewhere or other.  I’m sure the label said it was venomous, so be careful as you open it ;-)))

And today’s funny …

The teacher give her fifth grade class an assignment:  Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens.  One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good" said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too, but we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story, don't count your chickens till they're hatched.

"That was a fine story Sarah." "Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes Ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a Flight Engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until the bullets ran out. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. She killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Goodness" said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your Daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the fu*k away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."