Dummies, fare dodgers and students

28 April 2012

Today's Dorktown Telegraph is full of interesting stuff.  To start with there's a small item about MPs being taught first aid.  OK, no problems with that at all - but the headline says, "Life-sized dummies in House of Commons."  So they are going to practice on each other then? 

On this day in 1603, the funeral of Queen Elizabeth 1 was held at Westminster Abbey; in 1789 the Mutiny on the Bounty took place, and today is the 86th birthday of writer Harper Lee.  Don't forget these things - they will help you get a decent night's sleep tonight.

The 'In the courts' column throws up what to be an anomaly.  Three men from Rugby and three from Coventry were in court for fare dodging on the trains.  One guy was given a fine of £105 plus costs and compensation.  But all the others were given fines £300 plus costs and compensation.  On the face of it this looks to be justice not being applied fairly to everyone.  However, it could well be I suppose that the one fined £105 was a first time offender.  But if so then perhaps that should have been mentioned.    

The weather today seems to be dry but I've just been out to our bin to get rid of rubbish and I thought it was rather chilly.  I was thinking about us going out to the market to get some new photos but I have a feeling the Boss won't be up for it.  To be honest though, neither am I really.  Far too cold and with dull flat light makes it difficult to get any decent photos.  The Boss has just popped back in from her visit to a friend across the road and said its brightening up and she wants to go out this afternoon ... ah well ... ... ...

There's an article in the current edition of Writers Forum that says that people who get up before 7am every morning are happier, more productive, generally don't suffer from depression and a list of other things too.  That may be true but I won't be joining them!

Regular readers of this bog will know I use a Sony Alpha 350 DSLR.  It's a good camera and I'm very pleased with it.  Even so I keep up to date on what extra kit Sony brings out that might be good to have to extend its usefulness.  So I read that Sony had brought out a 500mm telephoto lens.  That could well be useful for snapping bird images.  I then saw a photo of AP editor Damien Demoulder having a play with one them on the AP website (http://www.amateurphotographer.co.uk/).  So I asked if it was available for purchase here in the UK yet and what price it is.  The answer was, "Yes - at £9,000!"  Hmmm ... I have a 70-300mm lens that I'm happy with and if I buy at 2X converter for around £250, I'll have an extra 100mm reach.  OK, maybe the quality might not as good as the 500mm but I have friend in Lancashire who has a saying I like ... "There's difference between farting and ripping your arse!"  I shall leave you to decide which is which in regards to that lens.

Actually, when I think about it, I do have a 500mm lens here.  I keep forgetting about it because I've hardly ever used it.  It's a Samyang catadioptic (spelling?) lens, or a mirror lens to non-techy folks like me.  The problem with it is that it  is a fully manual lens which means that I have to set all the controls and do the focus myself.  That is the biggest problem with it, focusing.  My eyes are not as good as they used to be.  I've just spent 10 minutes looking for some of the shots I got with it but can't find them.  Sad that cos they ain't bad really.  And all for a price of £199 too!

So then, a photo is now called for ... 

an artic tern snapped while we were in Ulster a couple of years ago.

And for today's funny ...
 

50 Things that change after University
 

1. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.

21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28.You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
29. You "hate scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not Condoms and pregnancy test kits.
38. A ?3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You don't go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
44. You have hoovered.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
50. You don?t find a "dump" left in the toilet hysterically funny anymore.