Hail, Smile Brook and the media

26 January

Today is our 34th anniversary, Happy Anniversary Jan.

Yesterday saw me birding at Brandon Marsh and Coombe Abbey. It was a nice day mainly but I was more than a little pleased after racing back to the car when the hail storm we had struck. The disabled parking spaces are close to the visitor centre and they face into the direction from where the hail was being blown in from. With the boot lid of the Doblo up I was sheltered from it. I was happy to cut things short at that point seeing as I'd added 14 to my year list with one them, tree pipit being a life tick too.

I haven't mentioned Benefit Street before have I? The reason for that is that I can't understand what all the fuss is about, not so many claimants, Brum has some of the highest levels of unemployment in the UK, but for those people to be so daft as to trust Channel 4 to be objective and fair. They are renown for being a back stabbing bunch and I certainly wouldn't agree to take part in one their show. Of course, TV channels are not the only media that plays lose and free with news and current affairs are they. Here's a link to the Dorktown News facebook page from yesterday ...  http://www.nuneaton-news.co.uk/Galley-Common-Grove-Farm-hit-mini-tornado/story-20500855-detail/story.html

Galley Common and Grove Farm aren't anywhere the 'heart of Nuneaton' with both of them being three or four miles outside of town. I have left a message to that effect on the page.

Yesterday's photos included one I got yesterday at Coombe Abbey; that river is named Smile Brook by the way. So today's photo is also from Coombe ... 

An Egyptian goose.

And today's funny ...   

 I was at work this morning, stacking boxes of soap powder when my new girlfriend came walking down the aisle of the supermarket.
She looked at me, puzzled.
She said “You told me you were an aerobatic stunt pilot”
I replied” No I didn’t, I told you I was part of the Ariel display team”

Drink driver, naughty me and Henry VIII

25 January

Oh what a naughty boy I am. How? Well for the first time a very long time, certainly since before I met Jan late 1979, God bless the lass for putting up with me, I actually drove home after more than one pint of ale. In fact I had three pints of ale. It happened like this ...

After getting off birding at Coombe Abbey this afternoon by a horrendous thunder and hail storm, I slowly made my way around to the Anker to wait for Jan, who I had inform by text I would there. OK ... two pints later I got up and asked for a larger and lime for Jan but Charlie thought he heard me say a pint of Wobbler. Opps .. I already had half a pint of #2 but took the risk and had #3 as well. Now here's the worrying bit ...

I'm certainly feeling that I have had three pints of a very good ale; but at the time I drove my Doblo home, I felt fine, no worries. And that brings a frightening thought to me. How many people are caught drinking and driver after only three pints and think they are safe to do so. One thing is for sure - I won't be doing it again!!!

So which historical date shall I go for today ... there's so many ... like Al Capone dying of a heart attack in 1947. then in 1938 the Northern Lights were seen as far south as London's West End.  But how about 1533 when Henry VIII married Anne Boleyn in secret. Now that is a good one for today.

And for today's photo is a compare and contrast ... 

before ... 

today ...

And today's funny ...

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland , Antonio was born in Italy .
Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.
Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.
Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.
In time, the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.
The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!
Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.
With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"
After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply. "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called ...
POPE SE-COLA!

Wobbler, Mockingbird and novel length

24 January

Catching up with telly took up most of yesterday along with a couple of pints of Weddy Wobbler in the Anker. I was in bed and reading for 9.30 while Jan sat and watched Dancing with Wolves, a film I have never fancied. She came through at 10.30 and woke me. I settled at that point and must have dropped off again fairly quickly seeing as the next thing I remember was waking around 6.30 needing a wee. Ah well ... ... ...

Wednesday night I finished one of the best books I have ever read. The Colour of Law by Mark Gimenez is his first book. It's the story of a black heroin addicted hooker who is charged with murdering a senator's son. She is innocent and her lawyer, a big fan of To Kill a Mockingbird proves she is innocent and unmasks the real killer. Yes, I know it's been done before, Mockingbird being the first but having read Mockingbird years ago, I still like Gimenez's reworking.

While the foot butcher was here last week we were speaking about writers first books. I have a theory see; some who has not written before JK Rowling for instance, produce thin books, both the storyline and in page/word count. Look at the difference in Rats and Ash, the first and last of James Herbert's books.

But anyone who has written before is able to do much better. By that I mean someone who has done any serious writing, short stories, lawyers, students, journalists and so on. You can see that in Gimenez and also in Peter James, whose first book I began reading last night. Yes, I know ... again ... I fell asleep but that wasn't the fault of the book but of me being tired. Anyway, James is an experienced writer have written screen plays and so on while living in Canada.

My first book, The Mission runs to 98,000 words. The next one, House of Pain is 118,000 words, with its follow-up at around the same. Yet last month I read that most writers tend to aim for around 60-70,000 words. An editor I spoke to once said less than 100,000 words for a first book is best. So who is right? Blowed if know!     

Photo time ... 

Thatched Dunchurch.

And today's funny ... sorry for the upper case ...

A PLANE IS   ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND   MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE   FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER  TICKET.
HE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE  BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,   I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE   FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE  CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER  SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES  TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE  WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE  REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M   STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE  PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO  ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO  REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE?   I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK  BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER  EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK  TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY ..
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND  CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE  WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER SOFTLY, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO"

Writing, publishing and supposed justice (again)

22 January

After my rant yesterday I feel just as angry today. Front page of the News has the story of one of the rioters complaining about being ordered to do community service instead of being sent down. And guess what? The stupid judge let him off with his contempt and jailed him! Why? Surely it is up to the judge to determine sentence, not the accused. No wonder the country is in such a mess.

Nine years ago the Warwickshire Justice Centre was open by the Princess Royal here in Dorktown. It was claimed to be unique in that for the first time all the various agencies involved in delivering justice were under the one roof instead of being all over the town. However, most of the magistrate court cases have now been moved to the justice centre in Coventry. That could well be a 20 mile trip for offenders, witnesses and victims to attend court. But it now begs the question of what that part of the building is now going to be used for? And don't forget folks, expenses can be claimed by witness and victims for attending court. The amount claimed will now increase considerably by the move to Coventry.

Yesterday afternoon after watching the news I set to and managed to get some of the changes done to my NANO story, 12 pages done, 86 to go. But where will I publish this one? I really don't fancy doing it through Create Space and Amazon this time. Jan said that she had looked at the American Amazon site and my books are priced $17 each on there. I wouldn't buy them at that price, remember, they are paperbacks not hardbacks. So now I shall look at one of the others, maybe LULU. We'll see soon I suppose. What I would really like to do is to have a go with Matador, but even at £350 it's a tad over my budget. One day I will go that route.

And so for a photo ... 

A general view of part of Draycote Water.

And the Sage has spoken ...

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said, "Life is so darned boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement"