Virgin Media, Elections and The Hussy's sickness plan

7 May 2013

Well, I suppose we had to suffer it after last week's elections seeing there was no Dorktown News last Friday and yesterday.  Today's News spreads the results for Dorktown over five pages as well as the front page.  The major story of course is the loss of the seat of then CC leader to a Green Party candidate.  The other major item for me was the election of our former Muppet Person Bill Olner getting a seat on the County Council.  I wonder how he will get on locally as opposed to Muppet Central?

The Hussy has a huge sick-pay bill.  In a bid to reduce it the management have devised a plan where they call the sick staff and ask if there is any way the hospital can help or support them while they are on the sick.  It appears that the phone calls have had an effect with a reduction in costs of over £100K.  But there are concerns that the calls are putting staff under pressure to return to work when they are not fully fit to do so.  The obvious result is that patient care might be effected by it and of course that the staff member might end up in more ill than before when they first went on the sick. 

Virgin Media have called my mobile phone wanting to speak to Jan as she is the Virgin account holder.  Basically it's a sale call try to get us to have an upgrade from our current Virgin+ box to the newer TIVO box.  I'm not so sure, but hang on ... they are also saying that our broadband speed will increase from 20mb to 60mb, might be worth thinking about then.  No, hang on ... the TIVO box has to be installed into a different room and seeing as we only have one bedroom and a living room that could be difficult.  Nope, all change again; the girl thought we had two tellies where she got that from I don't know so now they can just replace the current Virgin+ box.  Anyway, Jan has accepted it and it will be installed this Thursday between 1pm and 6pm. 

So let's look for a photo - nope, I know which one for today ...

a couple walking in front of us at Cotswold Water Park.

Funny time ...

A  mature lady gets pulled over for  speeding... Older  Woman:  Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop:  Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older  Woman:  Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop:  Can I see your license please?
Older  Woman:  Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop:  Don't have one?
 Older  Woman:  No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Traffic Cop:  I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older  Woman:  I can't do that.
Traffic Cop:  Why not?
Older  Woman:  I stole this car.
Traffic Cop:  Stole it?
Older  Woman:  Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Traffic Cop:  You what!?
Older  Woman:  His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up.  Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer  slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer  2:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle  please!
The  woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older  woman:  Is there a problem sir?
Officer  2:  My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older  Woman:  Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer  2:  Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,  please.
The  woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk.
Officer  2:  Is this your car, ma'am?
Older  Woman:  Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite  stunned.
Officer  2:  My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the  license quizzically.
Officer  2:  Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a  license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
Older  Woman:  Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding,  too.