Pens. ink and getting out for an hour.

23 February

And so another week begins; another week the Queen will get share of without even thinking of it! As for me, I shall plod on as usual.

Yesterday I did manage to get into town for a few hours. I went down with a set purpose in that I wanted to get a few items of shopping that I couldn't get from Asda. Here's the story ...

As we were sorting out all the stuff that Dave left when he snuffed it, we came across a Shafer pen set containing fountain pen, ballpoint pen and a propelling pencil. Jan decide that she would like to have it so it became hers. Later however she realised that she would never use it so put it into our store of hundreds of pens, pencils and so on that we had also found. I came across the fountain pen again earlier last week. So two of the items I wanted was a bottle of ink and some blotting paper. How long has been since you last heard those terms I wonder. Smudges supplied the ink but the blotting paper came for Rymans.

Later I called in to a market stall and bought three new paperbacks and a photo-mag, none of which I needed but one of the books was Stephen King's Cujo that I had wanted to read for some time. The other item I wanted was morning coffee biscuits which I really do like. Trying to get them in the major store is getting a lot harder and when you do they very expensive. Heron Foods in the Abbeygate shopping sells them in large packets and for just 50p per pack. So now I have enough to last me for a good few weeks.

Stephen King ... sometime ago I was on about my reading speed. Well, something Dave left was a number of stop watches. They too have turned up again just lately so using one of those I decided to time myself as I read The Green Mile. I finished it last night; 430 pages in just over 23 hours. The copy I have is the standard size paperback (form the same stall as I got Cujo from actually). As you can see, that shows a very slow reading speed. Part of the problems is that I can't skim-read, I need to read every words to absorb the story.

Speed reading is OK for business use I suppose. But is it? I wonder how many cock ups have happened because someone has speed read something only to find later that there is a clause or item in there they really should have taken note of. How much has that cost over the years?

I also got a few new photos yesterday too, here's one of them ... 

Part of a flower bed in Dorktown Market Place.

And we have the Sage to thank for today's funny ...

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...