Monday, 2 May 2016

Yesterday's funny's real sideand lots of photos


2 May



I’m starting today’s offering with the funny from yesterday …



Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twenty-five years to finish a sentence.



Thing is, I actually know someone who this could be applied to, not that he is a criminal of course, he’s most certainly isn’t. Anyway, I have sat talking with him many times and he would spend what seemed like ages to me, to find and use the just the right word to fit in with our subject. At times I got really impatient with him because it seemed to me to more than a little pretentious. So yes, the funny was funny, but it did bring memories of an old friend who I haven’t seen for some time now.



Last week I attended my annual sleep clinic and got myself discharged; thankfully. Since my dose of cellulitis and I stopped my CPAP machine, I have found that I just haven’t got on with it at all. I wasn’t able to get it to stop making noises while I was sleeping. Those noises were not only keeping me awake, but kept disturbing Jan as well. So a machine that was supposed to help me get a night’s undisturbed sleep, ended up keeping us both awake. There were times when that happened and by tightening the straps sorted in out, but with that last one, I had tightened it as far as it goes, and it still wouldn’t stop.



You might wonder why I didn’t give up with it before, but if I had, then I would have had to give up my driving license a lot earlier than I did. There was also the chance that my insurance might have become invalid in the event of a crash. Well, my licence has already been sent back and I know using the CPAP is no longer needed legally, so I have given that up too. And so now I am sleeping a heck of a lot better without all the noise and discomfort.



As most of you know I love photography, however, so far this year I haven’t been out all that often to get any new shots. On the odd occasion when I have been out I’ve found that most of my shots have not been as sharpe as they once were. Camera shake has always been a bit of a problem for me, but it’s become a lot worse just lately. What I really to do is to use my tripod, which is all well and good for some types of shots I like to get, things like macro shots and flowers for example. Sitting here typing this I’m also watching one of the Natural World series I recorded last night. This one is in India and the still shots that are being show are really making jealous, even more so that most of them are taken hand held!



A tripod isn’t much good when you try street shoots, for which you need to be as spontaneous and as adaptable as possible. Candid shots of people going about their normal daily lives is another favourite subject for me. Architectural shots also demand a tripod in most situations. Public art can be shot hand held usually but again, the tripod does help. So what else can I shoot on a normal day out and about without a tripod?



Well, there’s pub that make good subjects. Their signs to start with but they tend to be just plain record shots. I’ve got thousands of them, along with a large number of closed pubs too. Real ale pump signs are another one I like to do, again, thousands are stored on my hard drive; again record shots but as most real ales tend to brewed for local consumption so tend to be very short lived. That’s fine, I now have a record are so many of them. Pub interiors are also good to shoot, although record shots, they can also be artistic too. So then, all I need to do now is to get out there and get shooting.

In view of all this snapping away, I have a lot of images to call on for my daily photo. So what of today’s photo then …

ah yes; this MacDonald’s was one a M&B pub that I once called in to with a friend while I was in the army. I’m not surprised it was closed though, it was dirty and the beer wasn’t so good either.



Today’s funny …



I was staying with my uncle. One day he come in and said, 'One of the chickens has just died. We'll have roast chicken for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
The next day he come in and said, 'One of the pigs has just died. We'll have roast pork for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely:
One of the ducks died the next day. He said, 'We'll have roast duck for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
Then the next day he came down all dressed in black.
He said, 'Your auntie's just died.'
I said, 'Don't worry. I'm not stopping for dinner.'

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