16 January
2013
At long last
I can sit and type. First of all, many apologies
for not posting on here for six days - here's why ... Actually sitting hasn't
been the problem; using my right arm has been the problem. Last Friday morning I got up to a horrendous
pain in my right elbow going down to around my right wrist. It was so bad that that I had to go to
A&E over it. The doctor thought it
was an infection simply the whole arm was so hot to the touch. Blood tests and an x-ray were both negative. So I was sent home with pain killers. The hardest part though was seeing the shear
disappointment and upset on Jan's face.
She was supposed to be driving to Cairnryan to get a ferry to Ulster to
see our daughter Lynda. Well, she left
here around 8-30 having been able to change her bookings without extra
cost. It's probably worked out better
for her now seeing as she would have been driving home in all that forecast
heavy snow.
That's a relief by itself.
I'm not
going to try to catch-up with all that's happened over the last six days, no
point really, apart from mentioning the 'R' word; referendum! Prime Muppet Cameron says he's not afraid of
holding one. Well, let him prove it by
running one within this year!
Really bad
news coming out of London right now. A
helicopter has crashed into a high rise building still under construction. I got fed up with watching it being repeated
on the BBC so turned the telly off.
Hopefully by 1.00 pm there will be a lot more information available. Sympathies of course go out to the families
of those involved. Of course we need to
be aware that there is an ongoing terrorist threat in the UK at the moment,
although there is no suggestion that this was a terrorist attack anyway. But think about it ... it happened in the Vauxhall
area of London; the roads through London will soon be gridlocked, if they
aren't right now. Sad as it all is, I
have to ask, 'How will this incident effect me?' I have no plans of heading for London for a
few weeks, and certainly not during the middle of the week. So in reality the incident is of little
interest to the country as a whole who will tut-tut and walk off to do shopping
or join their friends in the pub. So sad
really ... ... ...
Sitting and
watching the world go by can be fun.
Here's three guys in the Market Place, Dorktown doing just that ...
Today's
funny has been copied from a message board I read but this one is in upper case
- sorry about that ...
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.
EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF
BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND
THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS
CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.
SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
HE SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU".
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE.
"WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT - AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED."
"BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN."
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.
SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
HE SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU".
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE.
"WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT - AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED."
"BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN."
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