Kile, Pip-pup and and lights

9 December 2012

At last I managed to get into town and got shots of the poor excuse for Crimble lights the council have put up.  Just as I thought they have gone for the neutral look with just white lights in meaningless shapes.  I did get a few candids too so if you want to have a look at them all here's my flicker page URL ...  http://www.flickr.com/photos/15764683@N00/  ... although I will post one of them below.

The hoax phone callers are not laughing about pretending to the Queen on the phone now are they?  Being suspended is the least they can expect.  The news this morning reported that Scotland Yard have been in touch with their counterparts in Australia and that doesn't surprise me at all.  What those two prats thought was funny has now backfired on them in a big way and in a way they wouldn't have imagined.   Now we wait to see what will happen to them.

We have Kile with us right now, well, not right this minute - if you see what I mean.  Jan has taken him to church.  One of the worries we both had on quiet was whether Pip would be OK with him.  We really needn't have worried at all.  She runs around chasing him wherever he goes.  Right now she's crying and yapping for him and it's driving me crazy while I'm trying to write this ;-)))

The weather is due to turn really bad over the next few days.  I bought the Daily Express yesterday and they have said that the temperature will be too low for the grit to work properly.  We'll soon see eh?  Normally we here in Dorktown don't get any real heavy snow falls and what we do have is soon gone.  It rarely sticks around for days and days.  There's been the odd occasion where it does hang about, but they are few and far between.  Let's hope that if the Express is right then it does at it normally does. 

So here's the promised photo - actually two of them ... 

one of the lights and one of Pip-pup sitting by the window.

And today's funny is sadly enough, actually true ...

A guy goes to the local Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes" he says. "I was in the Lebanon for three years."

The interviewer says "That will give you extra points towards employment" and then asks, " Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes 100%.....a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "Ok you're hired. The hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm. You can start tomorrow, come in at 10.00am."
The guy is puzzled and asks "If the hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm then why do you want me to come in at 10.00am"
The interviewer replies "This is a council job, for the first 2 hours we sit around scratching our balls; there's no point you coming in for that". 

CCFC, UFOs and price rises

8 December 2012

My regular readers will know how I feel about football and all ball games.  I wasn't always like that, in fact I used to follow Coventry City.  My worst action ever was taking my brother Dave over to watch them.  From that day on everything was CITYCITYCITY and nothing but!  That was what actually put me off the game.  Well, not totally I suppose because I still keep an eye on their match results.  There does seem to be a strange affliction at the club though.  I remember being at Highfield Road one time where City was winning 3-0 against Rotherham.  We left a bit early only to discover that City lost 4-1!  The reason?  With a 3-0 score they just sat back thinking that they had done enough; they lost.  And that happens time after time.  Whatever ...

A few years ago the City left Highfield Road and moved in the Ricoh Stadium.  It now looks like they will be out of the Ricoh before around Christmas time.  The reason?  Well, not really the team fault but the fault of the club Sisu - whoever they are!  They owe over a £1m in rent for the stadium and the owners of the stadium made a very generous offer to reduce and peg the rent, to keep the receipts for sales of food drink and to repay the owed rent over a 10 year period.  Sisu rejected it!  A winding up order has now been made which will see the club closed by the New Year.  What a sad end to what has been a good club!

Do you believe in UFOs?  Well if you don't, you're daft!  Now hang a minute before you all rush off to get the hangman's rope ready ... UPF's do exist and are seen on a regular basis.  Look at the name again; Unidentified  Flying Objects.  They are seen quite often as I've just said.  What I don't believe in is little green men from Mars - or anywhere else for that matter!  It's claimed that sightings first began just after WW2 and the start of the Cold War.  If so, how come a Dorset man claimed to have seen a highly polished metal disc up in the sky?  And was on December 8 1733!  Who knows what he saw?  It was an unidentified object and it was flying - there for it was an UFO.

The farming community will soon be claiming that food prices will have to increase in the future.  Nothing strange in that is there?  But this time it isn't because of bad weather or price of seeds and cereals.  No, this time it will be because there's a scam going on within the Midlands where farmers are being conned into paying a lot of money into bogus investments.  Yes, that's right, they are a target of conmen and they will be expecting that the public will have to bail them out if they lose out over it.  Of course, that isn't happening right now although the con is certainly happening right now.  But come on folks ... we all know that farmers will use any excuse to put their prices up!!!

A shot from the Tube in London for today's photo's ...

And from the Sage ...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Jaguar showroom and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£37,000." ;
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £570,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £550,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra twenty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment,
mouths wide open.
He turns and asks,
"Anyone know who's phone this is?"

A car park, 'barrier' nursing, and nearly time for a shower

7 December 2012

Yesterday we had visitors from the council; we were expecting them though.  They had arrived to measure up and plan our new level access shower.  Two of them went through to the bathroom to draw up the rough plans while the third sat with us and went through the colour schemes available and to talk us through what the work entails.  The job will start in the new year; couldn't be quick enough for us!  But I'm puzzled by it.  It is supposed to be a 'level access' shower right?  So why will it have a sunken tray and need a pump to remove the water?  Surely it will cost more doing it that way instead of just laying a non-slip flooring with the drainage at one end of the room?  Ah well ... ... ...

There's a small car park in the Abbey Green area of Dorktown, maybe 25 spaces in it.  The council drew up plans to begin charging to park there.  Abbey Green is a densely populated area where the front doors most of the houses open in straight onto the street.  The house are fairly small too.  So for car owners that car park has become a real benefit for them.  The council's plan came as a bit of a shock.  It's not just the residents though.  The most popular butcher in town has his shop there along with a carpet supplier, a computer repair shop and an off licence.  They all joined together to fight the plan - and they have won!  Well done those folks!

A few days ago I reported about the new barrier being installed at the Hussy hospital to stop the rat run from taking a short cut through the hospital grounds.  Well, the work has begun and the rat run is closed!  But so are most of the hospital wards still closed due to the noro-virus.  This latest outbreak seems to be taking a long time to get on top of.  Luckily for Jan she didn't have to go anywhere near the wards yesterday for her appointment.  The person who did the test said that they were not allowed to give out the results and Jan now has another appointment for a week tomorrow; yes on a Saturday.  Who'da funk it eh?

It's a really nice sunny day out there today - but very cold and windy.  It is not a day I will be going out in.  Anyway, Pip-pup is still too young to be left alone I think and Jan will be off this afternoon to pick up Kile for the weekend.  So one of us will need to be here with Pip.  She's coming on very well too.  She's already asking to be taken outside when she needs to go out although we are still getting the odd little accident from her.  Whatever, she has certainly settled down well here.  She is eating and drinking well, running around like a demon yapping at anything and everything.  One thing we are a tad concerned about is that she is very cowed when I call her or pick her up.  We're hoping she wasn't hurt or knocked about in any way where we got her from.

Now let's see if I can find a photo ... well, yes, I know I can without having to go and look first.  This is ... 

Sally-pup, our golden bitzer!

And today's funny from the funny farm ...

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.  "Oh My God - Hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to her lover. "And jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window!" came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. "It's raining out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied.  "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!"  So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!  As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon.  He started running along beside the others about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could.
It wasn't that effective!
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.  "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you're running."
Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?"
"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Only if it's raining."

Congratulations Joan, Dorktown hospitals, and Jan's eye test

6 December 2012

We had a phone call from one of my OU friends this morning to say that she has at long last got her degree.  It's taken her a long time to get there and the relief was clear in her voice.  Joan's problem has been the exam every year.  She hasn't had any problems with the materials at all, but as soon as she sat down in the exam room she just fell apart.  She's not alone in that!  I rarely did as well in exams as I did in the course work assignments.  So, Well done Joan!

What do you make of the con in the hospital where Kate has been in?  I just can't believe that the staff fell for it!  I'm sure the queen just doesn't make phone calls like that.  Any calls she does make will have been prepared in advance by her advisors.  The time alone should have been enough to raise doubts.  Yes, I know that they may have been overwhelmed at hearing what they thought was her voice, but there must be some sort of protocol for such things.  Why didn't the staff know/implement them?

Dorktown used to have three hospitals.  The Manor Hospital on Manor Court Road had the A&E department and a number of wards.  The Hussy Hospital was for planned or medical admissions.  Finally there was Bramcote Hospital, a few miles outside the town and close to the local Army Barracks.  Bramcote used to be a children's hospital, my brother Dave was in the for around 4 months.  It then became all sorts of different things but finally closed some time ago.  The Manor had an huge amount of dosh spent on it and then was closed around three years later.  It is now a mental health facility but I don't think it takes in patients.  All other services are provided by the Hussy or the Walsgrave in Coventry. 

On the front page of the News this morning is a story about the possibility of the rehab services provide at Bramcote would be relocated at the Hussy in now unused Lydgate Ward.  There is a business plan being prepared to see if can be done.  Now I'm confused!  It's still not certain what the future of the Hussy is to be.  Children's services have already been closed and moved but the planned move of the maternity ward wasn't moved.  Now they want to open this new service.  Surely they could have kept the children's services and still have open this new one.  That would have helped to ensure the future of the hospital.  It seems to me that the current health service leadership is either incompetent or are just pulling ideas out of a hat to try to justify their rice bowl.  Either way, we Dorktowners need and deserve better from them!

Right now I am puppy watching while Jan is off to the Hussy for an eye examination at long last.  At her last eye test at Specsavers they found that the pressure in her eyes were high and they referred her on to check for glaucoma.  That was a couple of months ago.  Yesterday she had a phone call to ask if she could go up there this morning.  She should be being seen right now.  This will be the first of a number of appointments so hopefully they can still get it sorted before any lasting damage is done.

Today's photo might make you a tad squeamish ... 

it's a type of garden spider I got a few years ago.

And today's funny ...

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, Huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.  He then calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him quite a while to catch her but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze. So for the next four days the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day 50 lb. program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone.
"This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds This huge, muscular, 7ft man standing there, wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "I'm Francis. If I catch you, you're mine..."