24 October
2012
So I'm here
all by mesen again and wondering what I can get up to. Jan is on her way to Ringwood to see Trish
again, she is probably there by now. So
what can I get up to? Not much the way
the weather is right now. I can't say
it's actually raining; it's more like a mist really than rain. But being out in it on the scooter would not
be good with me getting soaked fairly quickly.
The result is that I shall be staying in home where it's dry and
warm. Friday I may go out for some
autumn colour photos though, just wait and see how the weather first.
The News had two front pages today, yes two
front pages! The main paper had a story
about the Hussy Hospital seeing a drop in the death rates there. The 'second' front page was really a four page
ad for the Tories and our current Muppet Person. There's a wide blue band along it saying that
no tax payers money was spent of
producing the ad. Those four
pages have gone straight to the waste paper pile! The Muppet Person features inside too making
a fuss about the rail services from Dorktown.
Some of the services are run by London Midland and they have been having major
problems in finding enough drivers to run a full service. On one day they cancelled 75 services in and
out of Birmingham New Street. I've
always said that as bad as BR was, it should never have been sold off. Let's face it, we tax payers are still having
to subsidise the services even though it is now privately owned. But that's the Tories for you ...
And talking
of trains ... there's an excursion being advertised in today's paper for a
special steam hauled service to Chester for their Christmas Market. It will call in at Dorktown its way. I was fancying it actually, not for the steam
engine as such but for the photo opportunities it may have offered. Then I looked at the prices! £89 is the cheapest seat - sorry, my gold
card doesn't stretch that far!
Here's one of the
last trains I was on ...
I can't see me getting on any more for a long time, if
ever. They are too pricy and too crowded,
not counting the difficulties facing scooter users on them.
So for
today's funny ...
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of
golf. Of course, the wife promptly
hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to
the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're very sorry about that" the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary... actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "and your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're very sorry about that" the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary... actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "and your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
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