Nearly Crimble, bottle of bubbly and jury service

28 October 2012

Well, did you all remember to put your clocks back one hour last night?  What a silly game it is!  I really do wish we could leave them all alone.  We have a friend from Germany here in Dorktown and he just can't his head around it at all.  I bet there are some British people who struggle with it too.

I was lying in bed thinking about how old I will be if I live to see our 60th wedding anniversary.  It then dawned on me that in 2005 we had been planning to have a bit of a do for our 25th.  I can't remember why it didn't happen now but it could well be why brother Dave bought a large bottle of Champaign.  We still have it waiting to be used but I now have no idea when we will use it.  Perhaps in January 2030 eh ;-)))

That leads me on to thinking about something else now.  Will I still be writing this blog then?  Or will blogging be superseded by something else?  I keep a draft copy of these mumblings on a Word doc; and currently the word count is at 242k words spread over 588 pages.  But who knows, maybe Word docs will have been superseded by 2030 as well.  And what will a computer look like?  Something the Starship Enterprise perhaps?  It's all very exciting to think about isn't it?  I think so anyway.

I like to watch the Crime and Investigation channel on telly.  A lot of the crimes it puts on are from the USA, it's an American based channel so that can be understood.  But it does show up some major differences in the legal systems of the USA and the UK.  The first one is that both defence and prosecution can give out pretty comprehensive statements in regards their case.  Not allowed here in the UK.  But the one that did surprise me when I first saw it was that jury members were being interviewed after the trials.  Here in the UK, jury members are not allowed to speak of anything that is spoken about in the jury room.  I sat on two juries in the 1980s and even now I'm not allowed to speak of them. 

So then, a photo is called for ... I love street photography and getting shots of fellow snappers is great fun - at least for me that is.  This one ... 

is the guy who works for the local paper.  I've seen him about a good bit working away happily.  Now he's been flickred too ;-)))

So a funny ...

An elderly couple was sitting together, watching their favourite Saturday night TV program.
During one of those commercial breaks, the husband asked his wife: "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied:  "You know, I don't really know--  I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year."   

Autumn colours, a late night and revenge taken

27 October 2012

I'm late posting today folks because I wanted to get into town and see what photos I could get while I was down there.  I came back with 88 shots but as usual not all of them is worth doing anything with.  I have just posted those on Flicker later if you want to have a look ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/15764683@N00/

While I was in the Willy White today the bar maid was telling me she was on duty till 3.30am tomorrow - I shall be turning over in bed for the second time just then.  That late closing is shear stupid!  It will probably be kids out till that late at night but where is the money coming from?  Even when I used to be a heavy drinker (12 pints a night was a quiet night for me in those days), I wouldn't be out that late.  It's no wonder so many get so drunk they don't know what they are doing.

The Telegraph was late arriving this morning so I haven't had a chance to look at it yet, but I did buy a Maily Dail.  Front page of that is a story of a guy who took one of these cold call companies to court for wasting his time when the phoned him.  He had warned them that if they did call him again he would be sending them an invoice for the time wasted in answering them.  A couple of days later they did phone so he sent them a £10 invoice for the wasted time.  They didn't pay so he went to Small Claims Court and got a payment of £195 off them.  Good on him I say ... ... ...

There's lots of autumn colours out there for us snappers.  Here's one from today then ...  

Even so, I would still like to get over pond and get some nice shots over there.  So here's one of me scooter too ... 

and very good it is too ;-)))

Watch what you're drinking guys - or make sure the Boss doesn't find out - as this tale tells us ...

Jake is dying...
His wife, Ruth, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from
his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"Ruth my darling," he whispered.
"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Ruth," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Ruth, "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no I must die in peace. Ruth, I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"
"I know, my sweet one," whispered Ruth, "let the poison work."     

Mind changing, pussy cats and wine.

26 October 2012

My mother used to say that I would never hang myself because I was forever changing my mind.  Well, I'm still just the same.  I was planning to go out yesterday to do some photo shooting.   Jan was due to come back home today from her visit to her sister.  Instead she came back yesterday, so the shoot was put off till today.  She is now still tired so the shoot has now been put off till tomorrow.  I'm glad I sold the rope now ;-)))

Front page of the News is the story of three zoo keepers being sacked and reported to the cops because they were mistreating the elephants they were supposed to be caring for.   Twycross Zoo acted quickly when they found out about the mistreatment; the three men were arrested and are now on police bail waiting for further investigations.  I really don't understand why these people do these things, I really don't. 

Twycross Zoo is not all that large a zoo really.  Originally it was concentrating on primates but has since expanded to include larger animals.  It's been some time since we last visited it although we have driven past it a few times as we have gone over to Burton on Trent.  The A444 runs alongside the zoo at one point.  It's not a bad day out really and kids usually enjoy it.  Here's the url for it ...  http://www.twycrosszoo.org/home.asp

For today's photo then ... 

the typical meercat photo.

A short funny today ...

Mother Superior called all the Nuns together and said to them  " I must tell you all something. We have a case of Gonorrhea in the Convent".
"Thank God " says an elderley Nun at the back, "I`m so tired of Chardonnay."    

Photos, kids and a fish trip

25 October 2012

Later today I think I shall be off into town to get some shots of the trees dressed in red and gold.  I'll have to see how I am after the lunch time news.  This morning I got up with a really bad pain in my left hip; normally a couple of paracetamol sorts it out but this morning they haven't.  Right now  slightest movement is making it worse.

With all the fuss over Jimmy Savile it seems that a lot of other victims of child abuse are coming forward to report the abuse they suffered.  They have suffered twice haven't they?  First time when the abuse happened; second time when they were not believed.  Today's News reports on a 72 year old man who was abusing a number of girls in the 1970s.  I bet he was thinking that he had got away with it.  He hasn't having been sentenced to eight years for the offences.  What a sad situation that this has been and no doubt still is going on. 

The News also has a 12 page spread of photos of kids on their first day at school.  Happy smiling faces in photo after photo, eight to a page.  That adds up to a lot of kids starting school.  Looking at them I began to wonder just what they may grow to become as adults.  No one can say now can they?  I hope they all have a happy childhood.

I've been busy proof reading Web of Hate.  While I was making a coffee yesterday I began to wonder just why I was doing it all.  The cost involved in writing books for the new writer can be really high.  I have been thinking about approaching Matador with The Mission and see what they say.  Their cheapest publication deal costs just short of £800.  That's a lot of cash just for one book.  I'm not sure I can afford it really.  So I shall have to stick to Amazon I suppose.

For today's photo then ... 

a shot of the cover for Web of Hate.  Can you see the mistake in it? 

   

Funny time ...

A young guy from Oklahoma moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Oklahoma."
Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did"
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. You're going to have to improve considerably or look for another job! How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$112,237.64."
The boss says, "$112,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the lake, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a new bass boat.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that new Ford pick-up.
I asked him how long he was going to be out at the lake and after he said 5 or 6 days I took him down to the RV department and sold him a slide-in camper for the truck."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat, a truck and a camper?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

Rain, Trains and a Muppet Person

24 October 2012

So I'm here all by mesen again and wondering what I can get up to.  Jan is on her way to Ringwood to see Trish again, she is probably there by now.  So what can I get up to?  Not much the way the weather is right now.  I can't say it's actually raining; it's more like a mist really than rain.  But being out in it on the scooter would not be good with me getting soaked fairly quickly.  The result is that I shall be staying in home where it's dry and warm.  Friday I may go out for some autumn colour photos though, just wait and see how the weather first.

The News had two front pages today, yes two front pages!  The main paper had a story about the Hussy Hospital seeing a drop in the death rates there.  The 'second' front page was really a four page ad for the Tories and our current Muppet Person.  There's a wide blue band along it saying that no tax payers money was spent of  producing the ad.  Those four pages have gone straight to the waste paper pile!  The Muppet Person features inside too making a fuss about the rail services from Dorktown.  Some of the services are run by London  Midland and they have been having major problems in finding enough drivers to run a full service.  On one day they cancelled 75 services in and out of Birmingham New Street.  I've always said that as bad as BR was, it should never have been sold off.  Let's face it, we tax payers are still having to subsidise the services even though it is now privately owned.  But that's the Tories for you ...

And talking of trains ... there's an excursion being advertised in today's paper for a special steam hauled service to Chester for their Christmas Market.  It will call in at Dorktown its way.  I was fancying it actually, not for the steam engine as such but for the photo opportunities it may have offered.  Then I looked at the prices!  £89 is the cheapest seat - sorry, my gold card doesn't stretch that far!

Here's one of the last trains I was on ... 

I can't see me getting on any more for a long time, if ever.  They are too pricy and too crowded, not counting the difficulties facing scooter users on them.

 So for today's funny ...

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.  Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."  When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're very sorry about that" the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary... actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long,  healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "and your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"