Sauages, vandals and a take away (of sorts)

1 May 2012

Cold and wet, that's what Dorktown has today, just like the rest of the country by the looks of it.  The news reader said that even though we have had all this rain the hose pipe ban will continue.  Well, yes but there again, who will want to use a hose pipe when it's raining so much and so had right now?

So what of the Dorktown News then?  Well, thieves have broken into a riding school at Fillongley and stole a whole loads of horse bits.  This shows just how daft some of these crims are; they left the most valuable thing there.  I wonder if they know the price of on the hoof sausage meat these days?

Warwickshire County Council is planning to switch off our street lights, well, not all of them but a percentage of them.  Thing is, when we have been out anywhere and return on the motorway, we know when we have entered Warwickshire cos there's not lights on the motorway.  Now they want to turn other street lights off too.  Well, there's a petition being run to try to prevent it happening.  I shall sign it when I get the chance.  My concern is that WCC is Tory led and as we all know, one they have made up their minds they won't alter anything!  We can but try I suppose.

Dorktown has a number of amateur historians and the best of the lot is Peter Lee.  Every week he has column in the News complete with an old photo of the town.  Today's piece is about the part of Queens Road a couple of hundred yards for Jaronland - err - I'd better explain that; Jaronland is where Jan and Ron live at that moment.  The photo shows the road from the corner of the junction of Queens Road and Norman Avenue, looking towards the town centre.  I do remember it like that too, the old church on the corner of Queens Road and Edward Street; the photographer's shop just there where I fell in love with what I now know was an Olympus Pen 35mm camera.  The church is long gone, replaced by an nondescript row of shops.  Well, actually the new Asian run a grocery shop there is excellent and includes a Halal butchers.  Where the old camera shop was it now a hairdresser/barbers where I go to get my hair done.  All nice memories brought together by a very good historian.

I have notebooks all over the house.  There's one here beside my 'puter; there's one beside my recliner chair in the front room; there's one beside my bed; there's another in my study upstairs.  I have other's in various bags that I take out with me when I go, like my camera bag and my rucksack.  On top of all those I bought 4 A5 notebooks from PC World when I bought that magic pen which records what I write and uploads it to my 'puter.  The point of telling you all this is that one day I will remember that if I don't make a note of any thoughts that I have, they get forgotten.  Actually though, I did remember to do so last night.  I have the note here beside me.  It says, "If suicide was a criminal offence, who would be charged if the attempt was successful?"  I think it shows just how stupid that law was.  Now all I need to know is what I was doing or watching on telly when I had the thought ;-)))

The art deco style Coop Hall was demolished to make room for a pretty drab  Lidel supermarket.  Towards the top of the Marlborough Road a large mill once owned by Courtalds was demolished and a load of drab houses and flats were built in their place.  And this is on top of the loss of the old church on Edward Street/Queens Road ... now there's a thought, they are all within and fairly tight area of the town - I shall think some on that one!  Anyway ... Dorktown does still have a few decent buildings, like this one ... 

the old Temperance Hotel in the town centre.  It sells school uniforms now.

And this one is good too ..

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.  Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was
young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."