Is this goodbye?

6 September

I am sat here writing this at 0105hrs this morning because about an hour ago I was dreaming we had a phone call from the care home where my mother is saying that she was very poorly and they were waiting for a doctor arrive to decide what to do with her. Only, it wasn’t a dream. Jan got up and went off to see how things are. Right now my thoughts are that I hope this is the end for her. She’s had no life for a very long time now. She’s had enough and it’s time she let go.

Does that sound hard and uncaring? Well, my thoughts go on and now I think that if this is the end both Jan and I will be relived she has gone. We will miss her greatly. She was a good mother to Dave and me, and she was a lot more than a mother-in-law to Jan as well. Mother always saw Jan as the daughter she never had, and treated her as such.

So for obvious reasons, I may not be writing this blog for a few days to come. I hope you will forgive me for that and return to read it as and when I can.