Living our lives

5 April

A few weeks ago I had a vague story idea come to mind.  It’s based on the retired cop in my first book, The Mission. Anyway, for once I made a note of it straight away cos I know that if I don’t I shall lose it and won’t remember it again. Two days ago I had another idea come to mind and again I made a note of it. Earlier this morning I had the thought that I could merge the two notes into in story line. So I began looking on my lappy for the note on the new Parsons story, and guess what, I can’t find it. Typical for me eh. At least I can remember what the story line was this time. 

My book review file is growing well with another one added yesterday. Later today I am hoping to add two more to it. So far my reviews are around 3-500 words, and yet some I have read are much, much longer. My idea though is to give enough of a general idea of story and how I found the writing style and voice. The biggest concern though is ensuring I don’t give away the punch line. Luckily for me, I haven’t done so yet. At least I am doing some writing at the same time of course, and that alone makes it a worthwhile exercise.

Every so often I read a sentence in the book I’m reading now. This is a sentence I found last night; ‘Everyone lives three versions of themselves; a public life, a private life and a secret life.’ This one is from Broken Monsters, a very strange murder novel. I made a note on this because I thought it would it might come in handy later, and that is why I make so many notes as I do (even if do forget at times!). This one however makes me wonder about my own life.

My public life is usually live more or less on Facebook, just about like everyone else in the world I suppose; but do we really? No, actually we don’t. How can we? I mean, I’m sure that there are people out there who would be more than willing to sit and read about every little word we speak, every little hand movement, especially with a celebrity. But that really is our private lives, not our public lives. That comes with how we react to other people when we are out about on a daily basis; how we treat others when we see and speak to them, or do we get drunk, high or just sit in the corner of a pub with a drink glaring at all of those around us we are having fun while we don’t.

Our secret lives really should remain secret. We all have our own secret wishes and desires, our ambitions and yes, our phantasies. But I wonder … just how many writers do actually pour their secrets into the stories they write. Ah, well, no comment!

Another note I made related to aging, pain and on-going ill-health. For oh so many folk, that is how their old age really is. But who is at fault I wonder, if anyone is? I look back at my mother and how poorly she was for the last few years of her life. I look back and think of my brother Dave and the way that he died so young, at 58. In mother’s case, she just lived her life as she had been taught and didn’t change when things started to go wrong for her. But having an accident at work at the old Manor Hospital here in Dorktown which lead to her being made medically redundant. She loved that job and the girls she worked with and when she lost it, she really did go downhill quickly.

As for Dave, well, for me he was fully aware of what he was doing and the affect what it would have on him. He ignored it all. Top and bottom of it is that he was an arrogant man who would never admit to being wrong. He would hear a few words he liked and would jump on them and live his life on the basis of those few words. His portion size was massive. The result was that his weight continued to rise and his diabetes was completely out of control. His eyes had to have laser treated nearly every month. When he died and we started to sort out the house we found enough chocolate to open our shop. We found eight empty large sweet tubes and one full one that hadn’t been opened. So, knowing what he was doing and ignoring everything he was told that was against what he wanted to, is it really any wonder he died so young. For me at least, it was his fault and no one else.

For many years I was the same, even when I was in the army. Just like Dave I too was greedy and lazy, and just like Dave, I ignored all the warning I was given. That is why I am now finding it really had to walk any distance and I’m in constant pain. Now my diet has changed drastically and my weight is coming down; my diabetes is under control. There is nothing else I can think of to make things better.

Today’s photo …

A reader of books.

Today’s funny …

Did you hear about the detective who was thrown out of the Serious Crime Squad - he was always laughing.